Be the Apple, Not the Core
Unsure of Yourself? Feeling Stuck? At a loss for some inspiration? Let’s Talk.
Sometimes it feels like no one understands. Or that there are too many things going on in your head to sort it all out. Or like you ought to have clarity before taking that next step, but it isn’t coming. Where do you turn for advice?
I’ve got a secret for you. NO ONE can do it alone.
I’ve been there, and survived. And I’ve helped gobs of other women executives and entrepreneurs survive and thrive. Just. Like. You.
Sometimes we just need to be HEARD. Our darling male partners often want to fix things for us, bless their hearts. But if you’re lucky enough to have one like mine, he understands (most of the time) that I just need to VENT. Say things out loud. More often than not, I hear my own solution in my spoken words — perhaps that I’ve been trying to ignore or deny — even if I decide not to take my own advice. (Yes, that’s an option…)
There are those times when you really DO need a sounding board with expertise. Talking out loud about your tax problems is probably not going to be as effective as speaking with an experienced tax advisor. Getting over a childhood trauma may require spending time with a licensed therapist. Being pissed off at your mother-in-law may need simply time or girlfriends-in-arms. But then there are moments when we come to the end of our own expertise. We can deny or ignore the situation — true, it sometimes works itself out. But simply abdicating your participation limits your options unnecessarily.
I’ve personally found that having an objective and truth-telling advisor/coach is worth the world when I feel at a crossroad or a dead end. She can help me get outside myself and see the situation more objectively. It’s a lot like that apple picture. Do you ever feel the “core” rather than the whole fruit? Having someone to hold up a mirror before you and tell you what they see in you and your situation can be life-changing.
Sometimes we need advice customized to our specific need, when we need it. We need an advocate who we PAY to give us expert advice. Like a good attorney, arguing and sticking up for ourselves in spite of ourselves even is invaluable.
What should you look for in an advisor? Here are some non-negotiables:
- Experience that matches your need – if you’re a business owner, don’t go to someone who’s spent their entire career in or coaching exclusively corporate clients; or to a business owner who’s only worked in one business – their own. You’re paying for perspective!
- Integrity – chances are you’re feeling vulnerable so you need to know someone will hold confidences unquestioningly, even if you have mutual friends
- Perceptiveness – are they able to address and bring real value to the issue you’re facing? Or just offering you their “one-size-fits-all” square peg? (We KNOW one size doesn’t fit all…)
- Candor – we don’t have time for “yes” women. We need to get on with our lives, and be in a safe enough environment that we can hear when someone, with love and kindness, says “Snap out of it!” And
- Action-Oriented – at the end of a consult, do you feel as though you have something you can DO about your issue? You should go in with an idea of what outcome you want from a consultation; make sure you get it!
Most of all, don’t let one hurdle stop you in your tracks. Get help if you need it, get to the HEART of the matter, so you can get on with being the awesome, sparkling, badass business maven you are!